Was it a Movie Rental or a Gun?

The other day I went to the video rental store. Yes I know. Everyone just downloads now, but I hadn’t seen “Valkyrie” and it wasn’t on our provider’s movie list anymore. I never seem to get around to these until everyone else has already moved on. So I drove to the only remaining movie rental place that is still standing and proceeded to peruse the aisles. Finally, I was ready to check out with not one, but, yes, four videos.

I go to the check-out counter. It has been so many years that we are no longer in the computer. He asks me to fill out their form. Being a member is required. Now let us remember that these are videos. The form wants the following: name, address, phone number, license number, social security number, credit card number, and signature. I pause. Are these really videos or am I in a James Bond movie and these are video-guns? How cool is that?

I start with simple questions…

Me: Why do you want my address? I’m putting this on a credit card.

Clerk: We need to know where our videos are.

Me: Hmm. How do you know I am taking this home? (OK, I’m getting a little obnoxious, but it’s true)

Clerk: I need an address.

Me: There is an awful lot of personal data on this form. Do you lock these forms up at night?

Clerk: No, but no one comes in at night.

Me: I can’t give you all this information.

Clerk: It is required to rent the video.

I pause. I think I can purchase a gun at a gun show with less information. I continue to negotiate with the clerk. He agrees that the credit card information is not required on the form as it will be entered on the order. I pause. I look at “Valkyrie”. I surmise I can purchase a used copy for the same price. I bid the very confused clerk farewell.


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